Get your own....

So after taking a short hiatus from the fitness thing, I finally get motivated enough to start again. Well, ok so it’s been 5 years…what can I say, the weather was bad! Anyway, I’ve started with the walking thing, the running thing will have to wait a couple months and a couple pounds for me to catch up.

In that spam of time the world has evolved much to my dismay. Though a few things have been for the better…or at least I thought.

Evolution bought us these nifty little things called ipods (yea, yea everyone knows what those are). Take an entire musical repertoire with you anywhere you go, so when you stumble over those crappy songs your significant other insists on putting on his ipod, theres something you can find to listen too. At least he still enjoys some of the old time rock and blues that I prefer.

For three weeks I’ve been coming home from work, throwing on a comfortable set of decent walking cloths and grabbing the ipod as I head out the door. Then the other day, I discover he has forgotten to plug it into the charger and the battery has gone dead. Sure, I could have put it on the charger for him…but hey, it is his ipod, right!

Luckily for me the kids each have one as well, and the things are big enough to hold so many tunes that I’ll find something to listen to. After all, just about every CD I bring home from the store for myself disappears for a couple days (weeks) as everyone gets a turn listening to it before I manage to snag it back from them.

Kid number 1: “Hey, can I borrow your pod? Your dad’s is dead.” “Well I forgot to recharge it.” (this is the quick one that realizes what’s on hers and doesn’t want mom to know). “Ok. I’ll ask your sister.”

Kid number 2, just getting off the bus: “Hey, let me have your ipod, I’m going walking and dad’s is dead.” (bewildered look as you gently take it from her hand) “Thanks, I’ll see you in a bit.” And out the door I go.

I make it all of about 10 feet before I realize what it is that they are saying. At first I just thought I was imagining things. No, I’m not. Those lyrics really are “The internet is for porn!” I stop dead. Should I go back and say something? Naw, I’ll keep going…it can’t be that bad, can it? After all I have the best kids…they aren’t into stuff like that.

No, it gets worse and I’m just about busting a gut a half mile from home. The song, although raunchy is somewhat amusing in a twisted sort of way. And the kids do have my bizarre sense of humor.

So once the song has ended I decide to play it safe and just find a familiar artist to listen to for the next 4 miles. Ah, Seal…that’s good and safe.

Return trip. I explain to dad what I was listening to and his eyes get kinda big as I’m chuckling through the conversation. Then I call Kid #2 down and ask her to explain why this is on her ipod. In typical kid fashion she points at Kid #1 and says, “She showed it to me…there’s a video that goes with it!”

Oh dear god.

Moral of this story. If you aren’t prepared to come to the realization that your kids aren’t as innocent as you thought they were, get your own portable music device.

The video by the way, is pretty tame and amusing, especially since I actually play WoW.

The ipod on the other hand was a bit disappointing when you realize how they are produced.