So my significant other decided it was time for new phones. I’m not really sure why. The ones we had before worked perfectly well. They sit on the counter top waiting patiently for that day that someone would actually place a call to that number.

I guess it had something to do with the fact that the kid would be going off to school soon.

So he picked out these sleek looking state of the art super thin, camera phones. And although they are not named so, they look suspiciously like a razor. This of course got the kids all excited and the pair temporarily disappeared until I was able to wrestle the one back from the youngest. That one I decided would be mine. Why? Well, it looks cool.

Within a day of taking possession of my new phone my partner in crime got a hold of it one night at a ball game and proceeded to download a new ring tone for it. Now when ever it actually does ring I have to sit there a moment wondering what the heck that is…oh yea! It’s my phone.

And of course when the kid found out her dad had downloaded a song for his, um, mine?, she, too needed to get a song for hers. She is a big David Bowie fan so now she is serenaded by "Let's Dance" when ever her friends give her a call.

This is still a very foreign concept to me and I finally set my phone to vibrate to let me know that someone might actually be giving me a call. It’s proved to be most humorous since the phone now does a little dance across the counter top every time it rings and I’m prompted more by the thunking sound and the rush to grab it before it makes it to the edge.

One of my other really favorite things about the phone is the fact that it’s so thin. It fits perfectly in my back pocket for when ever I actually remember to carry it.

Of course being so thin and the fact that it really doesn’t ring much I tend to forget about it being in my pocket.

That is of course until the other night.

I was sitting on the couch watching a little TV…and one of the kids decide to give me a call.

Much to my surprise I discovered that my phone is not set to vibrate. It’s set to taser!

I go from a nice slightly conscious state of barely hearing what’s on the tube to falling off the couch and end up dancing on the floor to the tune of the Dobbie Brother's "Black Water" for about 10 seconds before I realize what the hell just happened.

So I’d like to thank you dear…for that lovely present.

Tonight, after you go off to bed and drift off to a peaceful sleep, I think I’ll come slip the damn thing into your shorts….then go downstairs and give you a ring.