Full Circle

Ah yes, I remember that day all too well all those years ago when my mom got tired of seeing me sitting in the living room, watching TV, instead of out job hunting. The day she drove me down to the local Army recruiter’s office, and dropped me off. I don’t remember what day it was…just remember that day. As like most things in my life I never remember the exact day. Time seems to have little meaning to me. It floats by as it always does until one day I remember I was supposed to have taken care of that…err 3 months go!

Anyway, so there I was, signing my life over to Uncle Sam, then off I go to spend the next six years living the Army life. It was good, it was fun, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Every couple months they packed me up and sent me somewhere new. First Fort Jackson for training and schooling, then Fort Ben Harrison (it’s not there any more by the way…just a warm fuzzy memory and maybe some cheap townhouses hastily build and now in need of some serious repair I would suspect, but hey some developer is happy and that’s all that matters anyway right!), then Fort Port, LA. (Did I mention I joined the Army to go overseas and see Europe.) And finally ending my career at Fort Myer, VA and in view of Washington, DC. During that time I swore I wasn’t going to have kids, and wasn’t even going to thing about marriage until I was about 29 or so. I was going to see the world! And what happened, you asked? Married at 23, mom at 25. I’m really good at sticking with a plan!

And here I am at full circle. I now find myself with daughter much like myself. A lovely, wonderful person that everyone loves (ok so I’m not the everyone loves kinda person…/shrug). And I find myself on the brink of sending her off into the world and wondering where the hell those past 18 years of her life got to. Surely, it can’t have been that long already? Hell, we just brought her home from the hospital yesterday. A nice Army hospital with all the modern technology (I tell a good story don’t I!)

And here she is all grown up on me and 18, and I’m sending her off to the unknown. To some sleepy little college out in the middle of no where to find herself I guess. 18 years ago when she was waking me up in the middle of the night screaming, I couldn’t wait for this day. When she got the flu and threw up all over me I couldn’t wait for this day. When she hit the terrible teens (which is much like the terrible two’s only worse) I couldn’t wait for this day. Actually she was a very pleasant teenager…but a horrid little two year old always making me feel guilty for bringing home THAT other kid.

And now it’s here…and I wish it would go away. Funny how that goes.

But to give credit where credit is due, she turned into a wonderful person…that was her father’s during. I was just the one that growled at her and her sister to clean their rooms and pick up after themselves…I didn’t go a good job at that.

I find I’m really going to miss her. It’s going to be hard not having her there in the evening to watch our TV show with. But in a way I’m excited for her to be off on her own and experience the thrill of being independent. Well, somewhat independent since we are still footing the bill. But she’ll get to make all those little decisions herself; hanging out with the friends she’ll make at school and not constantly have someone looking over her shoulder. It will hard at first for sure like it was for most of us. But if she’s anything like her mom, I’ll be wondering what the heck she’s up to and why she hasn’t called in the past three months.